Someone knew of someone who had gone with a church group and recommended a wonderful place to stay for the night. This place sounded great! Dorm style rooms, swimming pool, ice cream social, BBQ, and breakfast in the morning. It would be perfect for our group and we trusted these folks to make the arrangements for us.
Our next hurdle was transportation. We discussed everyone driving their own vehicle or perhaps car pooling where we could, when a member spoke up and suggested we borrow a neighboring church bus. The neighboring church graciously allowed us to borrow their bus so we could all travel together. It seemed to just keep getting better and better. We were all excited, planned to spend the afternoon shopping and checking out the town. Then the plan was to have our BBQ dinner and head off the play with the ice cream social afterwards. Next morning after breakfast, we would all head back home.
Saturday morning arrives and it is a hot, muggy July day. The type of day that makes you thankful for air conditioning! Our little group was all assembled and waiting for the nice bus to arrive to haul us off for our wonderful weekend. We hear the bus before we saw it; there was no nice, new modern bus but an old school bus. Well it is what it is, so we climb on board, lowered the windows and we head down the highway. I think the shocks wore out on that old bus 20 yrs earlier, as we felt every little bump in the road. After about 20 minutes the little ones where asking if we were there yet, it was going to be long ride to Eureka Springs, Arkansas.
Our first hurdle was the older folks wanted a sit down lunch, while the younger folks wanted to grab a burger so we could keep rolling down the road. Neither side was willing to give, so it was decided they would eat their lunch while the others had their burger. Time wise should be about the same and we’d all meet back at the bus. The sit down lunch took almost 2 hrs while the quick burger people sat on the hot bus and waited for them. As we head back down the road, tension was climbing as fast as the temperature.
As we sweated in the hot bus with cranky kids, we passed many towns with all kinds of neat looking shops. But not only was the bus borrowed, so was the driver. He made one stop for lunch and we weren’t stopping again till we reached our destination. After what seemed like ages, we finally reached Eureka Springs! Our hotel was on the outskirts of town, and we all couldn’t wait to get off that hot bus. We pulled onto a gravel road, bounced up a bit of a hill and stopped in front of an old turkey farm. We thought perhaps the driver has missed his turn and was going to ask for directions. No. We had arrived at our destination. Again remember, this was before the days of internet and Trip Advisor reviews. We were going to spend the night at a converted turkey farm, sleeping in converted turkey barns.
You’ve seen turkey or chicken barns. They are the big, long metal buildings with big fans at each end. Well there wasn’t much we could do but make the best of it. Perhaps it was fixed up real nice inside? So we all climb down out of the bus in a bit of distress. No-one was saying much, we were trying to be positive. They owner meet us and wanted to get a group picture then and there. It was to be part of our complete package. In all honesty, I think he was trying to delay us seeing the interior. So we all posed and ended up with a photo of hot, sweaty and bewildered people. It was now time to head on in to get settled in our rooms. We walked into the dining area which turned out to be a space with a dirt floor and picnic tables. There were a couple of cubicles with toilets and couple of free standing shower inserts with plastic shower curtains. A door way took us into the next complex (aka turkey barn) were the dorm style rooms were located. The walls, if you want to call them that, was partial board partitions which didn’t even go all the way to the floor. In each little square section there was 2 sets of bunk beds, made out of 2 x 4’s and partial boards with a little foam mattress on it. Guess we’re sharing rooms, so we all pick our room partners and claim our cubicle.
But wait. There’s no sheets, or blankets or pillows on the beds! Someone goes to hunt down the owner who leads us to the closet where you grab a sheet, blanket, pillow and pillow case. Then you go back and make up your own bed. The shock has worn off by now and disgust is setting in. We’ve paid money to stay at this place! But being a church group, we don’t want to cause a scene, so we grumbled among ourselves and decide to do our best. It’s decided we’d hit the pool, cool down and relax a bit.
I was surprised to find there was a real underground pool in the back of the complex. That’s what we decided to call it, because there was no way it could be called a hotel. The water was green. Not because the pool interior was painted green, but because it probably hadn’t been cleaned since it was built. A few brave souls swam but most of us sat in the sweltering heat in a shocked daze. We were all getting hungry and it was close to time for the promised bar-b-que so we all head to the dining hall.
We are meet by the owner standing next to a table of paper plates, plastic utensils, and warmed up, precooked burgers with a little bag of chips for our dinner. Once you put that tiny, charred burger on a bun you couldn’t even see it. I have to give the man credit; he never once seemed embarrassed or ashamed of the accommodations. He stood by that food smiling as if he were offering us T-bone steak. We ate a skimpy bar-b-qued dinner and head off to the Passion play.
Now that was worth the whole trip! The performance was wonderful! Our seats were wonderful. A cool breeze made the outdoor theater comfortable. We left there feeling uplifted and revived, talking excitedly as we once again climbed on that old bus. As we turned into the drive, we remembered where we were spending the night and some of our excitement left. The kids were looking forward to the promised ice cream social, but the adults weren’t anticipating much.
And we were right in that assumption. The advertised ice cream social turned out to be a variety of ice cream bars and popsicles that were freezer burnt. Some of the teenage boys braved eating them but the majority of us were just ready for bed. Off we go to crawl into our little partial board bunk-beds that do not have ladders to assist those sleeping on the top. But the two big exhaust fans draw in a nice cool breeze so sleeping will be manageable. Until it turned 10:00 pm.
At 10:00 pm, all electricity was shut off. No lights, no fans. Darkness. Whether anyone went to complain, I don’t know. I was exhausted and feel asleep. Next morning was total chaos. About 99% of us were grumpy, tired and so over the whole trip! Perhaps a hot shower, cup of coffee and warm breakfast would help put us in a better frame of mind. We had forgotten what the showers were like, remember the free standing shower inserts? There was 2 of them. As soon as you turned the water on, the plastic shower curtain billowed out as if a fan blew on it. We had to tag team showers, having someone hold the curtain in place. There was barely room to turn around in the shower, and one had to dry and dress in that little space. But those who were bold enough to try it, managed to get some of the grit washed off, while others decided to wait till they got home.
We headed to the dining hall, where the smell of brewing coffee encouraged us that perhaps breakfast would be real cooked food. But it was a wishful thought. Breakfast was dry cereal served in disposable bowls. If you wanted a cup of coffee it would cost you 25 cents. I’m really surprise they didn’t have us wash the bed linens we had used. It was just insane. We gathered our belongings, climbed aboard the bus and headed home.
You probably wonder why we stayed, why we didn’t demand our money back. I can honestly say I don’t know why we didn’t. None of us knew what to do, so we just tried to make the best of it. That was many years ago, and we can look back with laughter at the trip. When someone tells us about a shabby hotel they stayed at, we can trump them with a story of the time we stayed in a turkey barn!