My husband and I fell fast and hard for each other. We had known each other 5 months when we got married. (If my daughter did that I’d probably have a small heart attack.) But we just knew, ya know. We just knew it was right. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. When we were apart I felt like someone had died. So we started out our married life as much in love as anyone can be.
But anyone who’s been in love will know we had our trials. And I think we all have to go through the hard times to get to the good part. It seemed like we spent the first several years of our marriage trying to change each other. We forgot all about the wonderful person we first feel in love with and focused on the new person we wanted to create. Of course, we both were resistance to change. Then you drift apart, not because the love is gone but because you’re busy! There’s work, bills to pay, kids to raise, house to clean, meals to cook, and school activities. You barely have time to comb your hair much less anything else. The kids grow and go off to college, or to start their own lives, and you’re left with this strange person who refused to change all those years ago.
Empty nest syndrome! Who knew it was a real thing? Not me! It was rough! Fortunately, we survived it, worked through it and guess what we found? Each other. I found that same man who made me smile, who made me feel all warm and cozy, who made me feel cherished, my best friend. Our love has changed. Somehow during all those hard years, all the tears and angry words, we grew up. And it is now that we realize the gift of love. In our early years we took it for granted. Now I know nothing says “I love you” more than a man who is there, physically and emotionally, every single day. Nothing says “I love you” more than someone who will get up early with me to cook me breakfast when he could have slept in. Nothing says “I love you” more than a man who will dress up and endure going to watch The Nutcracker ballet because he knew it mattered to me. Nothing says “I love you” more than a man who listens to your dreams and shares them with you.
So if you’re just starting out in love, I want you to know it will be hard. Perhaps the hardest thing you’ve ever done, and there will be times when you want to walk away. But if you hang in there and never give up, I promise you…it will become the best thing ever. Young love has its benefits, but give me an old love any day of the week.
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